Raging Bull

This was delivered by LoveFilm when I first joined up, so in November. I haven't watched it yet. I plan to do this now. First, to the shower. It's not that I have to be super clean before I watch anything, it's that I shower on a night time because (a) we don't have enough water for two showers on a morning (something which a somewhat redundant excuse at the moment as my hoosemate is not here until next week); (b) I love my bed too much and find it impossible to get out of it on a morning, showering would only deprive me of those crucial five extra minutes in there. 

Child's play

I'm also playing that immature game of making parallel porn titles from real films. I find it passes the time quite well:



Cock-to-pussy
The C*nt of Monte Cristo
Ed's Got Wood
The Sperminator


That's not my best work - they've all emptied from my head unfortunately. Please feel free to comment with your own suggestions - keep it to film names. And I don't want no spam shiz offering advice on how to set up my own company using only a cushion and some polyfilla so leave it out. 

Octopussy

Classic bit of Bond here with my favourite Roger Moore. My reason for the post is to flag up something that delivered great enjoyment: when I was watching it I saw this bit [click le link] and thought "my god that crocodile's a shit prop, they could have at least filmed a real sedated one" and then whiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr up pops the head and there's Roger!!!!!! Hellooooooooooo. Brilliant. I don't know how I've missed that bit before. It has easily made it's way to the top of my list of Roger moments - handsome pervert that he is. I told a friend about it and he came back with this "haha, what a legend! If im ever sneaking up to an island inhabited by hot women. Plastic motorised Crocodile with visor all the way!!". I defy anyone to not have the same reaction.

Titanic

So I watched this over the festive period and found it ever so emotional for reasons which I believe are twofold: (i) I haven't watched it for years and it all got a bit too much, the emotions were already running high what with The Snowman impending on my viewing agenda; (ii) following the recent ferry trip to Bruges I could really empathise with those on board. Sort of.


I am somewhat comforted by the fact that the tears were not quite as intense as when I watched My Girl a few years ago for the first time since I was wee, my mother thought someone had died when she came home and saw me sobbing hysterically in the corner; "he can't see without his glasseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees." When I reach that level of emotion again, switch me off I beg of you.



Anyhoo, back to the title film, Titanic. This will be coming to cinemas near us in 3D soon, not sure that I will go to see. Firstly, I will cry and I would rather not share that with the public. Secondly, feels like James is cashing in a bit on the old anniversary of it. You've had your share Jimmy, now find another pie to stick your fingers in. 


Oh and, before I forget, the end of Titanic really grinds my gears!!!!!!! Why the hell was Rose hogging that piece of ornate wood? Jack was a wee slip of a thing. He could easily have hauled himself up there. And it would have made for a happy ending. Who doesn't love a happy ending? James "Fat Cat" Cameron, that's who. Knob. 


UPDATE - I haven't seen this in 3D but I've heard a whisper that the piece of wood appears to be EVEN BIGGER in 3D. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!