Friday, 15 February 2013


Aahhhhh so that's how you get your blog views up: tell people you have a blog. Simple really!

Thanks for stopping by fellow people!

Monday, 12 November 2012

The River Murders

Was at a loose end a couple of Sunday night's back and thought I'd have a go on me LoveFilm for a quick film. This popped up on the homepage - sounded interesting so thought I'd give it a bash. What a load of shit it was!!! Had the potential to be so much more but it simply didn't deliver. 

Disappointing to see that Ray Liotta, who I had a lot of love for in Goodfellas, has had a lot of work done to his face. Ray, Ray, Ray, take the aging process with a bit of dignity eh. He was also very weak as the main character. Some quite wooden acting that was lacking spark.

I'm not sure that I can say much more about it than that. A good one to watch if you're chatting to someone and don't mind missing an entire film.


This was an S&M Cinema Club outing. However, we shunned the usual drinks, dinner and cinema in Hebden for cinema then dinner at the new shiny complex in Halifax. I think that this will be the place where we see most films now. Obvs still try and support the independent cinema when we can but the length of films is so often a decider for whether we see one or not. They don't start until 20.15 every night at Hebden and this film, Skyfall, is over 2 hours long. That makes for getting home very late. Even later when the shitting trains don't turn up!!

Anyway, digression alert. I bloody loved this. We all know that Casino Royale was great and then Quantum of Solace was not very great. It's been four years since that. This had to be good else we'd have all lost our faith in Dan the man for playing The Spy Who I Would Like To Love Me. The opening sequence was perhaps a little too long, could have shaved a good two minutes off there - and I was a bit upset that the "body" going down the waterfall was quite clearly a dummy. They had the budget, they could have found a donor corpse from somewhere. Or at least blurred the water a little more post-production. I thoroughly enjoyed the credits. A cry back to the classic Bond openings. I initally wasn't enjoying Adele's Skyfall and while I still think that she could have gone more Bassey with it, it's a decent effort and a song that is currently being used as my alarm to wake me up of a morning. 

I'd like to say at this point that I did not enjoy the scene where he goes into the shower of the Bond girl, who I think said she was pretty much a sex slave, and just starts getting it on with her. What ever happening to chatting to a woman?! Jesus man, control yourself! It's a little bit rapey. However, having said this, I'm not sure that, if Daniel Craig got into my shower with me, I would be in a position to turn him down. What woman would?

Javier was a  great baddie. I enjoyed him campness and his accent/voice. There was almost a singsong quality to his dialogue and that together with his timid voice made him quite endearing. If only he wasn't mental and tried to kill anyone and everyone.

Final note - putting this out there for discussion really. My tea buddy at work suggested before I saw the film that M might stand for mother. Now, having seen the film she doesn't think that it does anymore but I, on the other hand, do! There were so many signs: Javier kept calling her "mummy" and "mother" when he was talking to Jimmy; the gravestone outside the chapel said "Albert Bond and Monique Delacroix Bond" (insane name); and then at the end of the film when M's on her way out she says to Bond "I got one thing right". Is she his mother?! Who knows. Throws it right out there to interpretation. People who I have mentioned it to since have agreed that it is possible but that perhaps it's more that she adopted a motherly role in his life. I hate not having answers to shit like this!

Oh an Ralph "Raph" Fiennes, what a waste as a good guy. After In Bruges he should only play evil men!

Pedro Almodovar-fest

I was loaned a boxset of Pedro Almodovar films aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages ago by someone at work. Four films in there - Bad Education, Talk To Her, Volver and All About My Mother. I can't remember which order I watched them in, only that I was to watch Talk To Her and Bad Education last because they were the most morally wrong. Now, earlier in this little blog I posted about having watched The Skin I Live In (directed by Peter also) and I'm not sure that anything can top the moral depravity that took place in it!! Turns out I wasn't wrong. While there were questionable and raw issues raised in Talk To Her (doctor raping a coma patient) and Bad Education (abuse of boys at a Catholic school) - they were dealt with in a sensitive manner and not quite as vividly as the vajinoplastie times seen in The Skin I Live In. I thought that All About My Mother was going to be a bit incesty, which would have definitely overtaken The Skin... for creepiness, but Pedro didn't go there. Thank God!

Things that have come from watching these films:

1) I definitely concentrate more when there's subtitles. Obviously you have to because, unless you speak fluent Spanish, you won't have a scooby what's going on. When I was younger and first discovered Teletext/Ceefax I started watching all programmes with 888 subtitles selected. I did that for many years, still do it now sometimes. I find that I take more in that way - I'm absolutely terrible for remembering names of people when I'm watching the box, and I often miss bits of plot as a result of being so easily distracted, but with subtitles you don't have to listen, just have a quick read of the screen and beep! all necessary details absorbed into the brain. 

2) Penelope Cruz would get it. Her and Javier must have a beautiful child. I've never seen him/her. Wait a sec... yep, looks like a cutie.

3) Javier Camara looks almost exactly like someone who gets the train every day! It was pointed out to me by my fellow commuter a few months ago and after I watched the films I doubted his observations until the day came that we were sat bang opposite Javier non-Camara. Spitting image!!!!! It's uncanny. The flatness of his face and his eyes are so similar. Can't look at him now, freaks me out.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Magic Mike

OMG - THE BEST FILM I HAVE SEEN IN AGES. Something which I must sincerely mean because I went all caps lock on yo' ass. Oh yeah I did.

Brilliant scenes. I'd seen Bret Easton Ellis twitterising about it the other day. He was harping on about it being quite dark under its fun exterior. Strip (geddit, cos it's about strippers, ha) back the outer layers and he was bloody right. While I spent a lot of the time laughing at the strippy bits, they were so cringeworthy, and some of the time swooning, let's not forget that I am a woman, I also spent a little bit of time feeling touched (oo er) by the story of Magic Mike. All he wanted to do was set up his customised furniture business. He went to the bank with a $13k downpayment for a loan or something but it got rejected because he had bad credit. He was stripping so that he could get some cash and also in the hope that mean Mr McConaughy would give him equity in the "male dance revue" club, which he didn't. And then to top it all off, he has to pay off some little shit's drug debt to the tune of $10k. BANG, there goes all his hard-earned cash. It was really heartbreaking because he's a good guy and he only wants to do good and do well for himself. 

Channing Tatum has never really been on my radar before. I don't think he's on it now particularly for his body but rather for his dancing. The man has got some serious moves. Ooph!! And, you should see what he can do with his hips. His wife is blessed. Fact. Watch this teaser trailer and you'll see what I mean!!

One bad thing about this. Matt Bomer. I had settled on him in mind for Christian Grey when the film comes out (yes I've read it, yes I recognise that it's a shit book, get over it). I'd even come to terms with the fact that he was gay. However, following this, I just don't buy him as a heterosexual. He had a few stripping scenes and a scene with a lady - could totally tell he wasn't into it. The search continues...

Saturday, 14 July 2012

The Woman In Black

First and foremost I would like to question what the hell has happened to Ciaran Hinds. Man alive he has let himself go. But four or five years ago I was lusting after him in Above Suspicion as the brooding DCI Langton, a tortured soul with a haunted past. Ooph. Now he's positively squidgy and completely sans ooph factor. Shame.

I went to see this with work, which meant another trip to the picture house. Let me tell you something about the picture house, it gets its films about three or four months after the rest of the world has had them. This means that for the big ones (like this appeared to be) the world and her civil partner descend like locusts. For this particular showing, it was the female teenage population and what a bunch of little oiks they were. Screaming at everything. Screaming at nothing!!!!! Daniel Radcliffe appears - AAAAAAHHH. The woman in black appears - AAAHHHHHHH. The camera cuts to a vase on a table - AAHHHHHHH. They were fucking annoying. They'd even brought blankets with them to cower under for crying out loud!! If being annoying was a crime they'd have been charged with going equipped to fuck people off.

So with that off my chest I would like to say that this left me a little bit juddery. I don't tend to buy into the whole ghosty paranormal type thing. It doesn't do anything for me because simply put, I don't believe in ghosts and can't connect with it. Things that could happen like human serial killers, anaesthetic awareness (I'm about to watch Awake) or Steve Martin freak me out. I don't think I was scared particularly about the floating around or the wild shrieking but I didn't like the looming shadow of her. I also didn't like it at the beginning when the children suddenly got up and jumped out of the window. Chilling. As I was walking back from the bus stop there were no lights on in any of the building and my eyes immediately flitted to our windows expecting there to be something or someone there. Alas, there wasn't. But that doesn't mean there couldn't have been. My fear was completely rational. Cough.

On a final note - Daniel Radcliffe... bleurgh.

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Uber film times

This weekend I have mostly watched Shutter Island, Source Code, Scream and Fatal Attraction. So far I am getting more out of the combined instant streaming subs than I ever got out of the stupid two discs a month thing. I think I'm going to end up keeping both subscriptions though as they both have stuff that I want. Wah.